


Just Let Me In

by Varon



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Episode: s08e12 Zugzwang, Gen, Spoilers for Zugzwang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-30
Updated: 2014-05-30
Packaged: 2018-01-27 03:20:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1713074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Varon/pseuds/Varon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Following the death of Maeve, Derek worries about Spencer and tries to draw him out of seclusion. May become a chaptered fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Let Me In

“I’m gettin’ real sick of seeing that look on his face man,” Morgan muttered, drawing back on his beer as he looked out of the window of his most recent remodeling project. Days like this it almost wasn’t right the way the world could just carry on like nothing had changed. People on the street were walking their dogs, pointedly ignoring everything around them, their ears jammed with music and their own escape. The leaves were still blazing with color and the sun was shining as though to mock the pain some were drowning in. 

Movies always made it rain, or cast the sun behind a cloud. The atmosphere darkened with the mood of the lead character, but if anyone stopped to ask Morgan, he’d tell them it would hurt so much more if it was bright. Proving that the world carries on, even when life is lost. Even when you feel like you can’t get up, like your limbs are too heavy and your heart is gone. The sun shines on and so you block it out, sealing it away behind the curtains of your small apartment because it hurts too damn much to realize that damn sun can just keep on shining even though someone you care about is gone and it feels like your heart’s been punched right through your gut.

 ”He’ll get over it. Give him some time.”

 A snort escaped him before he could stop it. Looking over at Lenny, Derek asked bluntly, “You’ve never lost someone, have you?” He held up his beer to stay off any objections, shaking his head as he got to his feet. “Nah man, nevermind. Grab that sledgehammer would you? Let’s make some use of ourselves.” Setting his beer in a safe place, he moved over to join Lenny in knocking down the last wall in the upstairs room. It was therapeutic, the repetitiveness of the hammering, the force of the work itself. It helped to keep busy at times like this.

A few hours later they were wrapping up, and he waved Lenny off as he dug out his cell. For a long moment he stared at Reid’s number, still the last one on his call screen. Four hung in brackets beside it, as damning as the sun. Four times in which Morgan had spoken into the answering machine, hoping against hope that his friend would just pick up this time. Had he gotten out of bed? Was he dressed? Or was he laying there in his darkened apartment, playing it all out in his mind a hundred, a thousand times over?

“Jesus,” Shaking his head, Derek called again. It wasn’t obsessive. He knew obsessive behavior better than anyone on the team - but it was worried. Worried in a way Derek hadn’t been for Reid in a long time. Not since Hankel. Not since dilaudid.

“Hey man,” Derek’s voice was infused with a lightness his heart didn’t feel as he was sent directly to voicemail. “I’m starting to think you don’t like me anymore,” The tease was good natured, not one of the usual ones he would leave if Reid had ignored his calls this long; there were no girlfriend jokes this time.

“Hey look,” Just because Reid wasn’t answering, didn’t mean the kid wasn’t _listening_. “I know you don’t want to go out right now. I get it kid, I do. So how about you just let me in?” Alright, so maybe that was a _little_ more double edged than he meant it. Seriously though, the kid needed a distraction. Somebody - anybody - to just damn well talk to. And if a fifth call wasn’t proof enough that Morgan was getting worried as all hell, what he finished up with pretty much cinched it. “We can watch Star Trek, and you can tell me all about the scientific accuracies.” 

He remembered that tease, Reid telling him that Star Trek had actually been more accurate than inaccurate in it’s science, and he hoped the subtle hint that the kid was cared enough about for something that irrelevant to stick would at least garner a reaction. “I’ll be over at eight. Just answer the door, yeah?” Even if it was just to tell him to go away, at least it would mean getting out of bed. “See you soon Reid.”

Disconnecting the call, Morgan sighed and set his head against the wall. He was getting tired of burying people, but he could handle it. He’d always been good at compartmentalizing shit. Reid wasn’t like him. He didn’t have that kind of strength, and he wasn’t able to connect to people the same way Derek was. Romance, that was such a new and raw thing for Reid, and for something like that to go south the way this did? That left a scar. There was no way it wouldn’t. If they were lucky, Reid would seal it, would overcome it, but it would always be there.

There were some wounds not even time could fully heal.


End file.
